Domestic violence is not just a women’s issue. It is a societal crisis—rooted in harmful gender norms, cultural narratives of masculinity, and silence from those who have the power to challenge it: men.
While not all men are violent, all men are shaped by the culture that enables violence. That’s why all men must be part of the solution. Speaking out against domestic violence is not about guilt—it’s about responsibility, courage, and solidarity.
Understanding the Roots: Harmful Masculinity
Cultural narratives often promote aggression, dominance, and emotional suppression as masculine ideals. These norms foster environments where violence can grow unchecked.
- The Man Box 2024 study found that 50% of young men feel pressure to appear strong—even when scared.
- Rigid gender roles hurt men too—leading to mental health issues, substance abuse, and social isolation.
Silence Equals Consent
Staying silent when witnessing sexism, control, or abuse reinforces harmful behavior. As Dr. Michael Kaufman notes, “Silence, even if that’s not the intention, ends up feeling like consent.”
Whether it’s a sexist joke, controlling behavior, or casual misogyny—failing to speak up sends a dangerous message that it’s acceptable.
Mental Health & Violence: Interconnected but Distinct
Men’s violence isn’t caused by mental health issues alone. Most people with mental illness do not commit violence, and many who commit violence are not mentally ill.
Instead, violence often stems from:
- Societal acceptance of male dominance
- Emotional suppression
- Peer reinforcement of misogyny
Addressing mental health is important—but it’s not a substitute for confronting abuse.
Men Experience Pressure Too
Many men internalize harmful ideas about masculinity:
- Never show weakness
- Always be in control
- Win at all costs
This leads to emotional bottlenecking—leaving anger as the only “acceptable” outlet.
Breaking this cycle requires encouraging men to:
- Talk about feelings
- Support each other emotionally
- Redefine strength as empathy and respect
What Can Men Do?
1. Recognize the Many Forms of Violence
Violence isn’t only physical. It includes:
- Emotional manipulation
- Verbal abuse
- Sexual coercion
- Control over finances, friends, appearance, or mobility
Understand how gender inequality and systemic discrimination reinforce this violence.
2. Talk to Other Men
Have uncomfortable conversations with friends and family. Share your views, challenge theirs, and open up about your journey.
Example: “I used to think that joke was harmless, but now I see how it reinforces disrespect.”
3. Show Up and Listen
- Attend rallies and community events
- Listen to women and gender-diverse people without defensiveness
- Follow respectful content creators and movements like She Is Not Your Rehab, Our Watch, Respect Victoria
4. Challenge Disrespect and Abuse
When safe, speak up:
- “That’s not okay.”
- “What you said isn’t funny.”
- “How you’re treating her doesn’t seem right.”
Support others who challenge bad behavior. Let them know they’re not alone.
Men Must Speak To Men
[Insert Image 7: A father talking to his son; a coach mentoring young players about respect and consent.]
Change won’t happen unless men engage each other. Conversations between men are powerful because peer approval still influences behavior.
Men are more likely to change their beliefs when another man—a friend, colleague, teammate—challenges them respectfully.
Start small. Speak with honesty. Ask questions. Support men who are unsure how to respond. Create space for vulnerability.
Allies, Not Saviors
Men don’t need to “save” women. They need to stand with them:
- Listen without interrupting or offering solutions
- Amplify women’s voices, not replace them
- Use privilege and platforms to challenge injustice
Dr. Kaufman puts it clearly: “We need men to be part of the solution. We need to tell the true stories of violence and abuse, because the only way to fix a problem is to understand its true shape.”
Final Words: This Is Our Work
Every day, men in Australia and worldwide harm the people they love. But every day, other men stay silent. That silence must end.
It’s time to redefine manhood—not with force, but with respect, compassion, and courage.
Start today:
- Share this message
- Check in on your friends
- Interrupt sexism and control when you see it
- Be the man who doesn’t laugh at abuse
Because real men don’t protect their ego—they protect their community.
Resources for Support and Action
- Respect Victoria: Campaigns and resources on prevention
- No to Violence: Programs for men using or at risk of using violence
- 1800RESPECT: 24/7 national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service
- Our Watch: National leader in primary prevention of violence against wome